She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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