I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
