Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Boobs are out for the taking
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
