Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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