i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
