apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I love how my cats smell like pot.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
