After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
