hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize