playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
