i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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