READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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