My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
