Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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