she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Randomize
