You just made me feel so damn special
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
