i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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