Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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