In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize