in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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