How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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