what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
