There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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