I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize