people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
