If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I think we might need a safe word for this...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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