i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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