four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
