I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize