Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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