i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
