It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
