Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
