I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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