did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
