So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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