New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
