we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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