and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
