A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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