If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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