I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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