yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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