They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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