He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize