woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
