forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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