I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have tasted many bathrooms
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
