Don't make out with my wife yet
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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