i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
