so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
