I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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