it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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