I'm sorry my penis didn't work
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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