She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize