it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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