another moral hangover. fuck.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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