Soap is not a condiment
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
