I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
