your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
