Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
